“Leora, I’ve been holding onto your card for ten years”, Carly stated in her first phone call to me.
“I’m back in DC permanently now and am finally ready to work with you.” I was flattered and eager to learn more about Carly. She explained that she was fifty-eight, and was working for the Smithsonian, after having had a fascinating career as an archaeologist, living and working in several countries over the years. Originally from Tampa FL, she met the father of her three children, now grown, in graduate school, but soon left him after realizing that he was a substance abuser and could not support the family. She singlehandedly raised her children, one with developmental disabilities, without any help from their father, whom she had never married.
Now that she had raised her children and her career was stable, she was ready to focus on finding a life partner. She confessed that she hadn’t had a date or even kissed a man in over thirty years and therefore was putting her faith in me to help her find the right man. I liked Carly immediately and gave her major kudos for the strength she had shown in accomplishing all that she had. I was committed to helping her rediscover the woman inside her who was seeking love and connection after so long.
Carly enrolled in my Executive Search program, where I draw from my pre-existing database of members, in addition to conducting recruitment outside the membership as well.
Her first referral was to Dan, who immediately took a liking to her.
Carly wasn’t sure about him but was humbled by his enthusiasm towards her, so she decided, with my counsel, to spend time with him to see where it went. Eventually, she called to say that after seeing him steadily for three months, she couldn’t see herself going any further; despite his interest in her, she found him to be boring and somewhat rigid in his beliefs.
Her next referral was to Roy, a cute fellow with curly blond/grey hair who was an independent contractor and had traveled extensively.
He was very motivated to meet the right woman and was flexible in his availability and willingness to do most of the driving, since she lived on opposite ends of the Beltway, and she wasn’t thrilled about driving. They initially hit it off, and after about a month, Carly felt comfortable enough to become intimate with him. She described their sex life as “OK” and was content enough to have gotten over her fears about sex and was relieved to know that “everything still worked,” according to her. I told her that we should be striving for more than just “OK” and advised her to move on to someone with whom she could take joy in being with, both sexually and emotionally. She agreed.
Not long after that, I reached out to Seth, who was a sixty-two-year old divorced attorney, whom one of my scouts had recruited into my database a few years earlier.
To my delight, he was single again after having ended his most recent relationship four months prior, and he was happy to be introduced to someone new. They initially met for a hike, and Seth made his attraction to Carly obvious by planting a major kiss on her in the parking lot when they parted after their first meeting. Surprisingly, she reciprocated and reported that she couldn’t believe how spontaneous their connection turned out to be. Not long after that, they became lovers and have continued to see each other steadily for the last nine months. Neither of them are looking for marriage; they are both content to be each other’s committed companions and to be planning some exciting travel together in the upcoming year.
Carly reports that Seth is fun, generous, respectful and kind, and that she is amazed to be experiencing the kind of happiness that she prayed for and invested in, but never actually thought she would find. She has placed her membership on “hold”, since they are dating exclusively and expresses her gratitude to me frequently. Given the nature of their relationship. we are both optimistic that she won’t have any reason to reactivate her membership to meet anyone else.
